A Note from Nate
Hi all,
I wanted to post an update about the last week and a half of Katie’s Healing Journey. It began on Thursday, March 25th when I dropped Katie off in the predawn dark to walk alone (due to COVID protocols) into Kaiser San Francisco for her double mastectomy surgery. Her hospital stay was supposed to be for the duration of the surgery and some time in a recovery room only: a same day-discharge was planned. She ended up pushing to stay there for the night and it’s a good thing she did: she developed an internal bleed and had to be operated on again the following day, kicking off a 4-day stint in the Hospital featuring numerous COVID-induced restrictions and challenges. Katie’s mom Mary swooped in on night number two to be at her side full time, which was a massive relief for all involved, going above and beyond any help I would have ever imagined asking for.
When I married Katie in June of 2019, we included in our vows the boilerplate lines about supporting each other through the good and bad days. The months since Katies diagnosis have impressed upon me is how much one’s outlook defines the mood and quality of life of those around them. I will never forget how much Katie was herself on the drive to this surgery; how she found ways to laugh —literally through the pain— at the absurdism of inpatient hospital care; and more than anything how she walked into that hospital with her head up and a big smile and wave for me. To say that I am grateful for the person that my partner chose to be in spite and in the face of deeply challenging circumstances is a huge understatement.
And it‘s hard to overstate how touched and moved we‘ve been by the outpouring of support from our community. Katie‘s sister Mary managed to stay connected to helping her sister while working a job and almost literally juggling a one-year-old. Innumerable family and friends have reached out with offers of support, well wishes and questions about how best to help us on Katie‘s road to recovery. Based on our changing needs, the difficulties COVID creates for practical offers of help doing things and simply for the flexibility it gives us to attend to our changing lives, financial support is enormously helpful and versatile. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.
Finally, I wanted to reflect upon how fortunate we know we are: apart from the grit and endless optimism Katie has shown through all of this, and because of your support and our community, it is not lost on us how many resources we‘ve been blessed to muster and receive. There are women who fight this battle without a partner, a parent willing or able to drop everything to be there; without a loving family, and a local and extended network of people eager to help. There are women who are underinsured; who don’t have employers that would be understanding of a leave of absence; and women facing innumerable other challenges while they embark upon their own journeys facing breast cancer. The Resources page of the Bay Area Young Survivors network offers information about how you can help these folks if you want to do more.
As Katie heals day by day, and the prospects for a MUCH brighter 2021 come into focus for all of us, please know that Katie and I spend a bit of every day thinking and talking about the gratitude and amazement we‘ve felt repeatedly and continuously because of your love and support during Katie‘s Healing Journey. If there were ever a year for reunions, get together and events to celebrate life and resilience, this is it! I hope we see you sooner than later at one of them.
Best,
Nate